I'm so numb
I have no reason to sleep
But I am so bored staring at screens
And I'm so sad
But I'm the one who jokes
So that others can laugh
And somehow
I have so many friends
But no one to text
And the books
Are exhausting
Their plot repeats and recycles
I find joy in cinema
In poetry
In 𝒉𝒆𝒓
But I am so numb
and sad
and bored
and lonely
And the only one
Who could help
Disappears when I need her most
And very few share my interests
The ones that do
They don't understand the level
The love I put into
My vampires
My murderers
I love to live
To breathe air
The cold flowing around me
And I love to blink
The night's crud
From my tired eyes
But really
Even after
All this time
I want her
To lay down
Next to me
And rest her head
On my
Shoulder
And wipe the crud
From my
Tired eyes