I’ve been sitting here for weeks, and this is the first time you’ve noticed me? Do you think I like being under this teacup? I’m terrified; it’s dark and cold.
You’re out at your party, and all I can think about is my wife, all alone on the web back home just waiting for something, anything, to fly by. It’s all a joke to you though, you sick man. And would you believe that I climbed into a man’s suit, got on a plane, flew all the way from Europe, and lived with Johnny Depp for a while? No, no you wouldn’t— you work at NASA, you drive a corvette, you are dating the Aphrodite of your age and it’s all not enough.
So let me tell you about me: I’m not like you or him or anyone else here. I don’t own shiny medals or have my own talk show, I’m just looking for a chip in a cup, some little imperfection that will set me free.
I’ve been thinking how I like smooth jazz poptarts gushers wheat thins. I have hundreds of kids I’ve never met, and a home in your bedroom window.
But none of that matters anymore because I’m trapped under this ridiculous cup and it’s dark, and I’m cold. I’m beginning to think I should just give up.