i have emotional motion sickness
somebody roll the windows down
pull over, stop the car
i cant take it, not anymore
hours and hours of my life wasted
it doesnt even feel good anymore
such a fun addiction
when its one touch away
literally at my fingertips
every.
waking.
hour.
i can run, but i can never escape
sometimes it dwindles, but never truly goes away
i can hate myself, my phone all i want
but it doesnt help,
i still reach for it
every.
single.
time.
sometimes i fall
down a rabbithole
consuming consuming consuming, scrolling for hours to no avail, my fyp has no end, an infinite cycle of news tips and get ready with mes, poetry and meaningful messages at times, but im still stuck, with my eyes locked to my screen, my world zoomed in, head spinning, eyes hurting, heart sinking.
looking away gives me motion sickness, the world is in 0.5
looking back hurts just as much, there is no escape
i cant run anymore,
it all feels hopeless
because at the end of the day
ive.
tried.
everything.
meditation, screen time apps, throwing my phone across the room, having an ugly phone screen.
do i need to be more radical?
sell my phone and buy a nokia instead?
bury it on top of a mountain
but at the end of the day
im stuck in the middle
do i even want to get better?
or am i alright like this?
with my world existing only in my phone
i have motion sickness