if only i could assign
numbers and equations
to the feelings in my head;
a universal value system
even you could comprehend.

Because then I could understand
that when I think of you
my heart swells like
one thousand helium balloons
and my feelings for you
are approximately
one million, seven thousand and two.

i’d know that how I feel
when you offer her words
divided by the times
you’ve made me smile
equals the lightness in your eyes
when I catch them on mine.

I’d tell the doctors that today,
my sadness is about ninety-four;
equaling my disdain for the mirror
multiplied by the pit in my chest.
and he’d tell me to laugh
until I felt like a trillion.

Maybe it would make sense
when people ask,
“how do you feel?”
and I simply reply,
“zero.”