the girl took a long shower

she scrubbed until her skin turned red under the too-hot water
she scrubbed so she could feel clean again
she scrubbed away his fingerprints and his warm breath on her neck
but when she had scrubbed away her outermost layer
and stepped into the cold air
waiting to be the old her again
she still felt wrong
instead of clean she was raw
every inch of her skin fire, every nerve ending feeling too much
she climbed back into the water
she started again
she scrubbed so she could feel the same as before

the time never came