I sat on the pew,
Squirming.
I was so uncomfortable.
The only thing going through my head was thoughts of turmoil.
The preacher asked,
"If you were to die right now,
Where would you go?
Could you honestly look at the person beside of you and say,
'I would go to Heaven?'"
I couldn't.
I looked over at my bestfriend,
And just shook my head.
A tear trickled down my face,
And I reached out and took his hand.
He told me it would all be ok.
Its not though...
Its not gonna be ok,
Or at least it doesn't feel like it.
I want to...
Be saved?
I'm not sure.
I want to feel like I belong in the church.
I want to find God,
But am I worthy?
Am I worth of his glory?
Am I worthy enough to be accepted into his kingdom,
When my time on Earth has come to an end?
I feel like I've messed up so much,
Too much,
That don't have a hope,
Or chance,
For a spot in Heaven.