i think of the time,
go back to the day
when i’m 15 and young
with too much to say.
i think of what would’ve been
if i had been strong enough
to say was really
on my mind then.
it’s not like it haunts me—
i wouldn’t say that
but, for some reason, i’m
reminded of the life
i almost threw away.
and, for some reason,
it hits me on days like today
when it’s quiet and calm
and nothing is seemingly wrong.
sometimes, i feel sorry for her.
sometimes, i wish i had
been better to her.
sometimes, i curse those who
weren’t good to her, but
i don’t blame them.
it’s just a shame that
i couldn’t guide her
with no one stepping up to
be beside her.
but i think of the life
she almost threw away
and i think of the pounding
in my chest from that day.
and for once, im glad she gave up
and moved on and developed
her own way to stand tall
and be strong.
…and to not get hung up
by the things she’d looked back on
when it’s quiet and calm
and nothing is seemingly wrong.
i think if i could meet her now,
i’d have too much to say.
id just smile, and thank her,
for giving me days like today.