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Ballad of the Fat *** Car

I’m cruising in my Corolla,

but I don’t get far.

I can’t make the turn

‘cause of your Fat *** Car.

I can’t see who’s coming

and I don’t want to die.

So I sit here and wait

for you to pass on by.

 

I pull into the parking space;

it should be just right.

But your Fat *** Car

makes it too tight.

In fact, you’re in my space,

over the white line.

I put a Post it on your window

“Your Fat *** Car should be a crime.”

 

 

I’m driving on I-5,

you’re tailgating my ***

I’m trying to stay alive

but I still won’t let you pass.

I’ll speed up just enough

to be side-by-side with a semi

on the right.

You’ll be behind us all night.

Guess you should have tried

to stay a safe distance.

But your persistence

in staying on my ***

has led me to forbid you

to pass.

 

One day you’ll make a turn

on a winding country lane

and your Fat *** Car

will go sliding in the rain.

'Cause your Fat *** Car

is too high from the road.

Your center of gravity

can't control the load.

You'll roll into a ditch

(Karma for bein’ a *****

Hope you enjoyed the ride.

Thank heavens

no one else died.

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Written by
scarlet-mccall
Published
Dec 26, 2025
Lines·Words
43·218
Notes

I-5 is only 2 lanes in each direction in parts from SF to LA.

Tags
#suv#baddriving#rangerover#pretentiousmaterialism#gasguzzler
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