with you on concrete & paint
no, i won't throw that away this time
my heart open & full of the sun's rays
running away & into this beautiful Fall
but it's near midnight now
& i never thought it'd be so simple
dance with me here
& plant your seed into my cobblestone bosom
where & here
there were warmth
& i transfer & give it to you
awkwardly & sincerely but not desperately
not this time
this time puppy
i tell you it's cold here
& this time i focus on the future
with its snow
& with my socks wet
& with me tossing
& with me turning
& slapping my ear
inferno
so very angry that this bloodsucker is here
hiding my demons
& hauling them here & there
into church
& then into the bathroom
i sing
& i vomit
& into there i collapse
into your heart & into your scar
some hazy story about who he was
or my intention
Jupiter holds a moon & expels me
& Saturn holds my ring & inhales me
here in this thresher
the old bayonet
& the knee crunching
the rib scratched
& the ambrosia
softly & slowly
pooling up & falling
from wound & from Christ's
sharing His sentiment
& his flame
a kiss from the hem
& i'm sewn together
my glass eye falling & stuck
staring at our messiah as i lift & am pulled
i am a womb with a love so true
truth of the matter i'd give it to you
you just have to slow down
& quit acting that way
burning our barn in this honky tonk flame
removing this eye
tossing it aside
unsure of the fit
or the meaning
unfit to fix my illness
my messiah looks up towards me
as i slink into this alley
rubbing my nose
& feeling my knuckles' wound
fill with someone else's blood
again
i tell you
it's clear & it's now
& i tell you that i'm still & i'm
warm with intent
yet repetition fails me
& that isn't magic
that isn't supernatural
nearing clairvoyance
& out of my mind
i move into country
& forget the city's pennies
& both of their worth
is it more than me
is it easier than me
is it listening & deserving
these fall & slide off as easy as my skirt
& i am asked to share
& i look
into the messiah's eyes with
mine own good and behaved
an angel broken
& me slowing down
on the rope
on the rope
good
and for nothing
i'm still & i'm tied
finally present & finally still
(satellite, encompass me & sever this confusion
it was north my heart faced
& south which they left behind
now it is you & I
me with tears on my feet & mud in my eyes
simpler dishes I cook & break
shorter hairs i trim & fret over
if i stare into this book & if my eyes fall apart
if i drool into this alley & soak in the loss,
i'll be free
i'll be still)
***
Act II.
i'll find my injury
Act III.
Finally.
Act IV.
& sweetly, quietly,
painlessly
without regret,
mistake or confusion.
Act V.
I'll close my eyes & disappear