and in the end
i don't know why
but all i feel like
is crying

just enough to ***** open
the length of my pelvis
grip my fingers deep
into the give of my blankets
while i bury my head into my pillow
as to not allow myself
the temptation of screaming
in attempt to remedy
the situation
before i shatter apart
in the emptiness of tonight

i do not know what is wrong
how to tell you this or
even just to ask for you to hold me
tightly on your arms
until the confusion ends
or i finally start crying
whichever comes first