i am afraid of the
red hand that will grasp my temple
down to my cheeks
warm like a lover's embrace
i am afraid of the
decorations in the darkness
i will psyche myself into believing
that they will attach themselves
to my periphery
and never leave
i am afraid of the
masks i won't wear
that others wear
of the horrors of missing
the skin i'm wearing
an alien, a ghoul underneath
i am afraid of never
knowing
what a child fears
what costumes could i wear
to bring my life back
into a blood vial
inserted into my brain