If I had to write a suicide note,
right now,
what would it say?
I think it would go something like this:

Dear *(No, too cliche.  I don't want to put the blame on someone by mentioning them here),

I'm tired.  my eyelids are heavy and my toes are dragging below me.  I want to run, run far far away as fast as I possibly can.  But I won't.  I hate running.  So I'm going to stop now.  Stop running from everything and hiding from everyone and burying my head in books that I don't even care about anymore.  So here's what I have to say.

Don't make me a martyr.  I was not bullied, except by myself.  I'm not the victim of our school system or the government or some political agenda.  And I'm no advocate for self-righteousness, either.  I'm just a human who got too tired.   Too tired from staying up all night studying, writing speeches, researching arguments and arguing with people; living in this day and age is exhausting and I simply couldn't keep up.

To the one who knew me best I say this:  When you're flirting with Death (which I'm sure you are as I write this) you don't have to come visit me.  I'm still not convinced that I'll be there to be visited, and think of how it would crush the Tree Gremlin to know you could see me and she couldn't.  Plus I wouldn't know you.  Who knows anyone in the land of the dead?

To Tree Gremlin:  Marry your idiot.

To my family I have nothing to say; mine was a battle enacted beneath their noses, under their roof, in the tree behind their house.

To the debate team:  Get over your petty **** and write some arguments.  I spent the entire weekend writing and researching and collapsing twice from exhaustion and my team STILL lost.  Get your **** together and stop ******* around.

42, the Game, sodium hexametaphosphate, elf king, are you an insect, sea turtles, etcetera etcetera you've heard it all before, good bye and good luck.

~Abby

*This is why I'm glad I'm not writing this today;
I really have nothing of value to say.