yet again i find myself wide awake at midnight and beyond, lost in the labyrinth of my mind. the walls are dark and narrow, paths crumbling under every footstep and disintegrating with every tiptoe. the madness is overwhelming, echos of regret and misery dotting the darkness in broken frames and shattered glass. the end of the maze is identical to its start, empty and hollow and broken in ways that even i could not begin to fathom.

i am a ghost and a barren wasteland inside; a mannequin robot controlled by routine and forced smiles with no beating pulse or rhythmic heart. the silence is overwhelming, the sadness overbearing. there are tidal waves of emotions that wash over me in attempts to drown and flood me in this place, waters murky grey and suffocating. there is no shore here, only sea.

everything i am is mess, a chaos, a ruin, a tangled sphere of emotions and pent up feelings that run too deep past the surface of my heart and entwine themselves into my veins. it is here i am embedded with the shards of the past and memories that haunt me, gravity a weightless substance in the ocean of my tears. there are regrets and wishes and dreams, and as much as i try to escape i only sink further and further into manic depravity.

-

"i fell in love once."

"what happened?"

"i never stopped falling."

(A.H.Z)