When I close my eyes I see velvet red lips.
Dark red stained.
What do they say?
It sounds far away.
I can’t find my way.  

My head rests on my hand.  
I wonder why I can’t make it right.
This life.
Where should I go swallowed by darkness. Spinning from trying to make it feel better. Spinning from constantly going everywhere to see if I can fix the day.

Fix the night, dry my eyes.
Find you.
Whoever you are.
Because what is left of me is not happy.
Never home.
Only in music.
I’m watching my steps.
1 foot in front of the other on the tiles.
I’m ok then.
But I’m not moving forward.

I’m just walking.
I wish to walk into your dream.
Who is the dream?
I thought you were.
The dream is belonging.
And as long as I haven’t found you, I don’t belong anywhere at all, but with me.
And I’m tired of being here alone.
Feeling alone.

Even surrounded by people that don’t feel the same.
So I keep wandering like I always have.
All I got is truth.
I need to stay true to what I’m feeling.
I need to be open.
Honest.

And then just give in again.
Cause I have no control.
I never had.
I just have music.
And I keep having to get through all of the steps. And I wish it was like a dance, but it’s a fight.
And it can be a silent one.
It can be still one.
Discomfort.
Or just walking around.

Constantly trying.
Or just finally being ok, walking.
Because I’m not calling anyone.
Because they’re not feeling right.
Not right for me.
I know.
And sometimes I used to escape. I pretended that they were good.
But they were escaping to.
Toxic.
Like alcohol.
Drugs.
Every night I need it.
Or I’m a mess.

Hold me when I know I belong there.
Tell me to hush.
Shhh.
It’s gonna be ok.
You’re right where you belong.
You’re ok.
Safe.
Loved.
Home.

When I close my eyes I see velvet red lips.
Dark red stained.
They whispered to me.
Shhh.

It’s gonna be ok.
You’re right where you belong.
You’re ok.
Safe.
Loved.
Home.

👄🤫🩷🏡🫂🤗🥰