We were best friends.
Laughing, deep talks, karaoke
Carried on for years.

You were my everything.
I told you all my thoughts
Feelings too, with hesitation
You cared for me, as I for you

More years went by
Graduations, jobs, life.
The weight of the workforce
Crushed my authenticity.

One year ago:
Less talks, less love, more distance
Pulled in two directions
The rope was neglected.
What was there to do?

Time for a big life change
Wedding bells in the distance
I was eager, excited, happy
To be part of it
What happened?

You said, “I don’t recognize you anymore”
Shock. Grief. Confusion.
I’m still me

Depression stole my words.
Anxiety gripped the wheel
I watched as our bond unraveled
An old rope, strand by strand.
I tried to hold it together,
But it slipped through my hands.

We were friends.
But not how you wanted it
Compliance was priority
I am self indulgent.

I am a liar too,
Of what? I do not know.
Public humiliation, hurt, shame
“My wedding isn’t about you”
I was defending myself,
from your apathetic words.

The only option left
Is suffocating silence
Heavy with nothingness
I am sorry this all happened.
And still
I don’t know why.