"why are you so sad?"

alas,
the question of the century.

why am i so sad?
when will i learn
to get off of the cross
i've nailed myself to
because ******* it,
i am not a martyr.

why am i so sad?
perhaps,
because all
i've ever craved
was freedom?

no,
that's not it.
just today,
i was craving
a donut.

and hell yeah,
i did get it
because i have
such loving parents.

so no,
it's not my home life.
of course it's not perfect,
because if it was,
then i'd never want to leave.

is it school?
i have wonderful friends
and ribbons tacked to my wall
to tell me otherwise.

or perhaps,
it's the fact
that everything
is so structured
that i'm having
such a hard time
believing that
nothing's
ever going to crumble.