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Haiku and syllable counting

Haiku  ? What  you want    ISN’T  POETRY Nor,  is  what you are  making .  Its a crossword puzzle! Restricted, confined not necessarily useless, but unwanted  by  the  rest of  us. What  I want is not  poetry . ITS A SOAPBOX , not respected Obeyed ! (Don’t  expect  us  to revel in your artificial cleverness. I can’t  candy  coat my sledgehammer  for the smug little puzzle palace where people confuse compression  with clarity and restraint with relevance or innovation. ) It’s not the form that’s brilliant . Neither  is  a form  that hinders  it. It’s the purported slickness of mediocrity pretending to be insight. Like rain-slick poop: shiny on top, but still just shitty over processed  garbage. No real expression  had  syllable  count as its impetus ! Yor lame  brevity without weight is really  just laziness and incompetence .  What should  have  been a  paragraph hacked to death isn’t automatically profound. It’s like handing someone a bag of bread crumbs and saying, “Enjoy your gourmet  sandwich.” Most real writers can and  do enjoy words and or at least a complete  thought with actual  depth.. We don't write epic poetry in dactylic hexameter anymore. We don't compose courtly love sonnets to unattainable noblewomen. Some forms had their time, served their purpose in a specific cultural moment, and then ended. That's not a tragedy that's just how art evolves. But haiku won't die because it's lazy and easy and fools every IDIOT into thinking they are an actual poet.. Read Plath, or Bukowski or Nabokov or anyone that actually has something to say. You may find that it's actually more satisfying than reading "frog farts in the wind." Why  do  you  Want  to mimic Basho, any way ?   Are  you a scared  feckless samurai boy  toy  trapped in  a whore house  that serves  tea ? Are you socially stunted  and   rambling through  a whispering homoerotic zen garden ? Are you being  forced to pretend  enjoyment in polite  torture  or can you not  tell  poetry from sudoku? Emasculated wannabe samurai-boy’s at tea-party about to turn orgy, crybaby daddy issues art  act, much ? It's not deep and it's really not relevant. It's a cheap, lazy path of least resistance for people who want to pretend to be artistic or deep don't wanna do the actual work. If it doesn't deserve at least a paragraph, it shouldn't deserve your time or attention.
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Written by
OldeMrHoover
50
Published
Sep 25, 2025
Lines·Words
55·397
Notes

It makes no sense to keep perpetuating this nonsense in any other language but Japanese, and even then its pretty bad . Their language counts on mora, not syllables. What we’re doing in English is cosplay haiku, vomiting it into fortune-cookie cosplay: "pond, frog, splash, deep meaning" as if chopping up a Hallmark card makes it wise. Your word-count anorexia shouldn't be allowed to be mistaken for artistry.

Tags
#talentless#horrid#creativity#japanese#outdated#forced#haiku#garbage
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