the fear


The fear that has no name, it is there, churning away
for no reason, until today when awake
with peace in my heart
I used to be angry with myself, which made me disengage
With life around me, I became morose and bored
to serous, no fun to be around
I used to wake up early, sit by the bed for hours, not
getting anything done, getting up, drinking coffee
Shall I eat a cake or not
I had seen that day at the local supermarket
to elderly gents on holiday, they had bought beer and
looked at ease in their elderliness 
That was what I had to do, not pretend to be a pretending youth
But embrace myself, sagging stomach, muscular arm
turned into chopsticks 
What the ****, you silly man, you can write and
express yourself and be fearless of your opinions
With my sanity restored, I slept until eight