if you ask me who i am now, i will tell you that i am the wilting rose you forgot to water and the last leak of orange light vanishing across the horizon as the sun sets. i am the lightning streak and thunder bolt i have learnt to fear, hate and admire all at once, the lonely in the night and the silence as the dawn breaks. a candle flame flickers in the far off distance, and i am as quiet as the solitude allows me to be; firecrackers bursting in the palm of my hand and in the core of my heart.

the memories where your voice sings to me sound like gunshots now, bullet wounds ripping the fabric of my soul to shreds. it occurs to me that without you i am a ghost of the person i once was, static electric current sparking on the surface of my skin. heated words laced with anger and bitter hurt are spun forth carelessly in seamless strings, blanketing over every rational thought now that you are a permanent absence in this fleeting life. it seems the longer you have vanished, the deeper i fall - into the crevices and cracks of a trap you lay for me, vulnerable and susceptible to your charms and the past where you still stay, immune to the ever changing currents of time and the present.

i have loved and i have lost, but none have created a wound as deep as you.

(A.H.Z)