Comfort in this world is so fragile.
So much that it creates a force of darkness.
That darkness is created to control you.

Letting go might be the most comfortable thing after all.
When I let go, I’m completely in the most painful discomfort.
When I try to keep any sense of comfort, I’m being controlled by the most painful fight.

And I keep losing it.
In the end, I might win it.
That takes everything.
Fighting that force of darkness.

In the end, I just want to find that peace and that love that I’m longing for.
Should I walk the rest of this path with my eyes closed?
Should I completely let go?
Cause I’m done fighting.

I let anything attack me.
But then I’m just in it.
Will I get out?
And will it be worth it?
Will I find what I need?

Should I run with my eyes closed?
Cause even a flashlight doesn’t keep me safe. Doesn’t help me see the full spectrum, the whole path that’s set out.

So I’m being sent back by my commander with a flashlight.
And she’s telling me to be careful.
But I’ll keep being sent out.
And it’s that same dark path.

Yet every time I don’t know when the attack comes again.
So I’m comfortably walking with a flashlight.
Scared but determined.
Always on guard.
Always fighting when I need to.
Always having to all over again and again.

It’s never right, it’s always the same path.
It’s not mine.
It’s my commanders’.
I have to keep going over and over.

But what if I close my eyes?
What if I don’t listen to her warning?
Will it set me free?
Cause it feels like I’ll be eaten alive.
But right now it feels like I’m just always fighting not to be. 🥲