A year ago
Everything was different
I smiled and laughed
And they weren't fake
But everything changed
Depression took control of my life
Made me feel dead
I sliced my own skin
Just to see the blood flow
I needed to know I'm still alive

No one suspected anything
They all thought I was happy
They couldn't have been more wrong
I hid the marks under sleeves
I told them I was cold
It wasn't a complete lie
My heart was like ice
I couldn't feel anything
So I cut to feel pain

Then you found your way into my life
You thought I was quiet
I never talked to you
Only because I was afraid that if I did
You'd figure me out
I knew you would eventually
So I beat you to it
I told you everything
Every time you looked at me
You looked as if you were going to cry

But all you did
Was try and make me laugh
It worked
For the first time
In what seems like forever
I didn't have the urge to cut
To bleed
To feel pain
Because I was happy
You made me happy
How you did it?
I'll never know
Maybe by making me feel less alone

The time I met you
I was at the lowest point in my life
You brought me back up
I was contemplating suicide
But you said suicide is for cowards
I thought: I am no coward
You are the reason I kept fighting
The reason I fought my demons
Even when they were about to win
The reason I held on
The reason I kept trying
Whenever I have a bad day
I think of something you would say
To make me laugh
You're the reason
I want to get better

I'm scared now
You're leaving me here
Alone
With no one to hold me up
When I start to fall
I'll try my hardest
Not to break
But I can't promise
That I won't get bad again
I'm terrified
What if my demons win this battle?
What if I give up?
What if I become a coward?

You won't be there
For me to fall back on
You won't be there
To make me laugh
You won't be there
For anything...