I have not won.
tho i am winning...
have not spiritually shifted from "terminal" to "****... i beat it"

cuz there is still  
red blood on the battlefield...
and sometimes still  
white blinding pain and
grey exhaustion and confusion and
green pus and
brown ***** and
spasms and  
anguish and
golden diarrhea
and the
slate blue tone of
unrelenting totality...