I used to dream of summer
From the depths of lonely thirteen
Disguising myself as a stray blossom,
As I lay curled beneath the lilacs
A whisper of freedom within my soul

Fire flies lit my imagination
As I crossed the vast expanse
Year's gone by
Tears gone by
Lost, largely untouched
Remote as a nightbird winging across the sky

Summer returned me to myself
No longer severed into bits of flotsam
Casual cruelty embittered my body, my mind

If I could find her
I would apologize for not defending her
As no adult ever did
Leaving me to flounder in the choppy waters of school days
Speaking, rarely
Being, rarely

Lilacs grew and flowered again
As May spilled into June
And that last school bell rang
Setting me free
All of me
Once again
To be drenched in lilacs