When we first began dating, I was using you to get over someone else. I never told you because you would have gotten upset, you lovely hypocrite. I even kissed someone else while we were still dating, and it has disgusted me ever since. I never told you because you would have never spoken to me again. Before your growth spurt, I lied when we both agreed that you were definitely taller. I never told you at the time that I was 5'3" and you were 5'2". I never told you I always looked for the triangle of dots on your neck. Every ******* time. I did not like your best friend. I never told you he reminded me of a sociopath, because he was one of the biggest influences in your life. And all of your favorite songs at the time. I never told you I went home and put all of them on my iPod, just so I could impress you with how well I knew the words. When I started crying after our first time having ***, I wanted you to just forget it, I was fine. I never told you I was crying because I had realized I loved you, and it made me feel free. I never told you this, because I'm not sure you would understand what I mean when I say 'free.' One time, we were in bed and you were looking so **** peaceful with your eyes closed, and I took a picture. I never told you. I never told you I was actually awake when you thought I wasn't, when you whispered into the phone, when you whispered you wanted to marry me someday. I never told you I once had a dream about what our kid would look like. I never told you about the night I counted all the tears that leaked out of me because of you. Twenty seven. No, I was definitely not okay with him watching, but I never told you that. I never told you that I was scared to speak up because I was terrified of losing you. I never told you to grow up. I never told you what I found out. I threw my necklace you gave me into the lake, and I never told you. I never told you how easy it was to fit into your warmth. And how easy it was to fall out. I never told you that I still think about you at the worst times. I guess I never told you a lot of things.