A short story, or maybe a feeling.

It begins with a glance of eyes
and bass thudding in my eardrums
blue eyes cutting through me—sharp, unfamiliar.
I used to follow green like breath once it was everything, now… complete opposite.
hands wander slow at waist as if touch of ocean could silence the memory of forest.

It felt right…
until it didn’t
with eyes shut, tears whispered down my face. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe the ache of loving what I couldn’t reach.
Blue never knew that green still lived in my veins
that every soft pleasure felt like betrayal.
I didn’t recognize this touch.
“it’s not green, it’s not green, it’s not—” on repeat
But the longer blue stayed the more I softened,
wanted,
held.
I have forgotten how this feels.

Next morning came with nausea;
not from the night but the thought that green was closer than I wished and worse…he had his own blue.
I can’t stand it, his shade of blue makes my sick and is trapping the escaping air.

But my blue was a good distraction
it made it easier to stand in front of something I still crave.

I made him kiss me in a way I could see the forest when I closed my eyes.
It wasn’t fair, I felt cruel.
His mouth starting exploring the untouched parts of the body.
wind slowly curling on the beach,
warmth growing in my belly.

But again… when I opened my eyes the stars blinked above and the waterfall of emotion took me down.

It happen SEVEN’TH Times
when all I could feel, see, breath was GREEN when It supposed to be BLUE