i can talk and be proud of what i'm saying
i can speak my mind and know that i mean it
i spend time outside my darkened bedroom (and enjoy it)
i live in the moment, because i know that it will be worth it in the end
i see the boy with lovely large hands and smile because it makes me happy

but

i still cry at the creases between my fathers' eyes
i still feel inadequate in the way i'm slower than others
i still understand that my hands will never fold around his the way i want
i still have the creeping feeling that it will all fall apart

but

I am growing and I am living and I am being. so i am.