the awareness of the time for renewal. how empathetic. how profound. the only time I wish to hold pessimism in my hands. To **** the aspiration for connection that comes from my heart. Along with the invisible wisdom that drains me cold. The warmth of illusion to help me feel again. the awareness of confusion how insincere. how ignorant. even when I suffer I think of the tree I hang from and how the fruits that bear from it whisper your name. a sense of yearning that holds the rope in place. it evokes a quiet shift in my reality. once more, a different life I’ve had to **** another version of myself for loving you.