it’s been three months
everyone says move on
but someone needs to tell that to my heart
because it still skips a beat
when it hears your name
it still flutters and drops to my stomach
just like it used to when i saw you in the halls
but now it’s out of sheer panic
like my body still thinks you’re coming back
and it doesn’t know you aren’t

it’s out of memory
not love, just the ghost of it

it’s out of habit
like muscle memory that hasn’t caught up to reality

it’s out of grief
as if seeing you again would bring me back
even if just for one more second
one more good night
one more i’ll see you later
one more i miss you
one more is all i need

but i know
it’s already gone
you were gone even before you left
and no matter how loud my heart screams
no matter how much it aches for you
i’m left bleeding out into the nothingness

and even if i were to get that last and final goodbye
it still wouldn’t be enough

so i sit here
haunted by the echoes of what i can’t answer
the questions that are left
when love fades into silence

how long do you bleed
before you stop hoping?
how much pain does it take to learn that some loves don’t come back? or maybe that they never even loved you at all?
how do you live with a heart in pieces?

but maybe some questions
never find their way home

people say if you were meant to be
you’ll find your way back to each other
so tell me,
how do you move forward
when you’re stuck in the past?
because i know you aren’t coming back
even if all of me just simply wishes
for one more.