I am a ******
I murdered the girl i use to be
The one that smiled and laughed
I took those away
I don't deserve happiness
Not when all i can do is hurt
I don't deserve help
I can't help anyone
All i can do is make it worse
I murdered her
Her smile and laugh
I yanked them away
Now she just turns a cheek and cries herself to sleep
Trying to sooth her mind by inflicting her body pain
Maybe it will bring the girl with bright eyes and rosey  cheeks
And fill the void of the girl with dark eyes and pale skin and a void where her heart should be.
Maybe if i act like her she will come back.
But why would she want to come back to a life like this.
I certainly wouldn't