The officer said it was illegal but I've never been punished thusfar. I knew it was wrong, but desire consumed me. I grabbed the man and dragged him into my van. He screamed and I laughed. Brutal company. It was going to hurt, of that I was certain. His lack of consent did not stop me. I was on a mission, and James Bond always thrives. I got in and drove as fast and as far as I could. Speed bumps bring my daughter joy. She giggles, I smile, he writhes in pain. My smile grows. A pain bubbles in my clavicle but I digress. But, I don't digress because it HURT. I locked the angels in my closet for safe keeping. My mother is proud. Blood is my favorite accessory. Hashtag period. My friend always said I was cunning but I never believed her father was a good man. After all, a good man would never commit such acts. I threw the empty toilet paper roll at his grave then shouted at his wife's cat. Meow. Meow, meow. Meow. It sings the song of the hummingbird so I put it in a collar and walk it to the pound. The pound sings the song of death, my song. My student tool box is full of unfortunate goodies, and yes, my English teacher approves. But I would rather she not. This is my journey, not one I shall share. I aggressively slap the keys of life, hoping yogurt will seep from the cracks of destiny. It never does, and I starve. My granola is friendless. Life is bitter, like the skin of a plum. Fierce as a seahorse. But again, I digress.
Without Lady Bitternit, this poem would not be made possible. Enjoy.