Logically, I know sugar on the occasion
Is healthy in moderation
Same with pleasure
I am viewing life in extremes
The pendulum swinging
Side to side
Never finding
Middle ground.
I am whore for fooling around
And a prude for only holding hands
I am fat for having something sweet
And rigid for measuring
Fear is what keeps me stuck
Rules I created are what
Keep me leashed
No better than an animal tied to a post
Waiting to be unhooked
To take a decent shit in privacy.
Is that my life?
Tightly leashed to my insecurities
How else will I grow
Unless I loosen the reigns?
Out of control!
The voice shouts
Just a little looser please
I feel suffocated
And I am bored of the same old scenery
I need a change
And these chains
Are beginning
To dig into neck
Peirce my skin and flesh.
When did the collar get so tight?
There once was a time
I acted on intuition
Suddenly I am in this submissive position
By my own disposition
What a sticky situation
To be in.
I am no masochist
But I’ve created and casted
This rule ridden life
That has forbidden anything good
This pain has lasted long enough
Almost three years
I didn’t think my fears
Could have such stamina
And it seems that things are getting worse
Lack any improvement.
I am waiting for it to die out
But it might kill me first
Unless I stick a knife
Into this demon of mine
It will continue breeding
Infiltrating
The sanity of my mind
Stealing away a chance for a better life.