Nov 2013
I wanted to feel her next to me.
The touch of her skin and the rhythm of her breathing. It used to keep me alive, but I've learned to live without it. Fall came, the wind blew and the leaves fell..and with them my heart fell too. Perhaps, maybe a little too hard. She had that perfect demeanor, a special sense of love that no other whole heart could recognize but my very own broken mess. It knocked upon the door to my heart and rang loud and strongly throughout the complexity of my being. I, hesitantly poured myself out for her. I knew she barely noticed. Oh, but babe, I noticed her and every perfect insecurity, and everything that made me hit my knees in awe, in wonder. My eyes rested ever so sweetly on her perfect smile, on that glisten in her eyes, searching for that spark that brought me gently to life. I sat quietly beside her not to interrupt the sound of heaven ringing from her lips as she sang sweetly the lyrics that escaped from the speakers in the doors of the quiet car. I'd compliment her voice, and she'd laugh and shake it off. Everything she hated so much about herself, I so dearly loved...And I ached to show her just how every little thing that she despised in herself grabbed onto my heart, making me stumble and fall upon my knees in astonishment at her precious existence. At her beautiful being. Of course she looked at my tattered, torn heart and noticed that major pieces and strength was missing, wondering how I had been so strong. It was she who kept me on my feet. Not once did she wonder, not once did she guess that I would ever entrust this broken, worn heart to her to help me fix..Even if it meant just patches and stitches. And of course, I looked at her heart, and saw just the same. She had pieces missing and crumbled bits that fell to the floor of her soul.. And this..this is where my journey, my mission began. I searched for her aching heart and soon, with a long journey found it. I arrived near her heart to mend what was broken. Of all the things I ever wanted in life, to fix the brokenness inside this soul had been my desire. Even if my actions went unnoticed, the thought of her happiness in the back of my mind gave me a soft, sweet voice of comfort that reminds me, this love..this love is not worthless. With her, I feel this gentle touch of freedom, the soft whisper of love and a taste of pure acceptance. For days now, her lips and heart and the image in her eyes had been my destination. While fixing her heart, not finding all of the pieces that had gone missing, I'm using what's left of my own to replace the old so she won't have to remain sweetly broken. I will be broken still, from the pieces I've taken from my own but if it means fixing a love that has lost it's sincere touch, then content in my mess, this brokenness, I'll know with absolute certainty she was worth it.
She'll ALWAYS be worth it.
The touch of her skin and the rhythm of her breathing. It used to keep me alive, but I've learned to live without it. Fall came, the wind blew and the leaves fell..and with them my heart fell too. Perhaps, maybe a little too hard. She had that perfect demeanor, a special sense of love that no other whole heart could recognize but my very own broken mess. It knocked upon the door to my heart and rang loud and strongly throughout the complexity of my being. I, hesitantly poured myself out for her. I knew she barely noticed. Oh, but babe, I noticed her and every perfect insecurity, and everything that made me hit my knees in awe, in wonder. My eyes rested ever so sweetly on her perfect smile, on that glisten in her eyes, searching for that spark that brought me gently to life. I sat quietly beside her not to interrupt the sound of heaven ringing from her lips as she sang sweetly the lyrics that escaped from the speakers in the doors of the quiet car. I'd compliment her voice, and she'd laugh and shake it off. Everything she hated so much about herself, I so dearly loved...And I ached to show her just how every little thing that she despised in herself grabbed onto my heart, making me stumble and fall upon my knees in astonishment at her precious existence. At her beautiful being. Of course she looked at my tattered, torn heart and noticed that major pieces and strength was missing, wondering how I had been so strong. It was she who kept me on my feet. Not once did she wonder, not once did she guess that I would ever entrust this broken, worn heart to her to help me fix..Even if it meant just patches and stitches. And of course, I looked at her heart, and saw just the same. She had pieces missing and crumbled bits that fell to the floor of her soul.. And this..this is where my journey, my mission began. I searched for her aching heart and soon, with a long journey found it. I arrived near her heart to mend what was broken. Of all the things I ever wanted in life, to fix the brokenness inside this soul had been my desire. Even if my actions went unnoticed, the thought of her happiness in the back of my mind gave me a soft, sweet voice of comfort that reminds me, this love..this love is not worthless. With her, I feel this gentle touch of freedom, the soft whisper of love and a taste of pure acceptance. For days now, her lips and heart and the image in her eyes had been my destination. While fixing her heart, not finding all of the pieces that had gone missing, I'm using what's left of my own to replace the old so she won't have to remain sweetly broken. I will be broken still, from the pieces I've taken from my own but if it means fixing a love that has lost it's sincere touch, then content in my mess, this brokenness, I'll know with absolute certainty she was worth it.
She'll ALWAYS be worth it.
