I’m recognizing a pattern —
I noticed it before, but I hoped it was not true.

This shadow that follows me, it devours any connection that I try to have.
It evokes fear, causes others to fade away —
I’m not worthy, is a spiralling thought that never leaves.
I talk too much, feel too much, care too much.
I need to shrink myself, detach myself to my own emotions.

But it’s easier said than done, I don’t want to shrink.
I’ve made myself digestible so many times, only to spit out with disgust.
And the pattern repeats itself.