morning comes in blue / but we stay
behind the curtain / like moths / afraid of god.

he’s still asleep / mouth open /
like he’s trying to forget something with his whole face.
i watch him /
because i don’t know how to leave without looking back.

last night / he called me by my name
like it was something clean.
like i didn’t bring the devil in a baggie /
and offer it with both hands.

my jaw aches from grinding.
my heart a metronome stuck between
mercy & mistake.

i touch his back
to prove he’s real.
warm.
unruined.

for a second, i imagine
us at a diner / sober / coffee gone cold
talking about the weather / not the weight.

but i know the difference between
a future
and a fever dream.

he stirs.
eyes half-mast.
says:
you stayed.

i nod /
because i love you
sounds too much like
i’m sorry.