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Jul 4
I came back but i was gone in your eyes
Like a house with all the lights off inside
I reached out through the summer shadows and the wildfire smoke
But love don't ignite just cause you hope

Last night, I felt the emptiness of the moon
No one around just the ghost of you
As alone as I’ve ever known how to be
Empty room, no air left to breathe

I don’t feel beautiful I don’t feel real
Like a melted ice sculpture someone forgot to feel
Chords in my chest, I'm not a willow tree and I cant bend
Strumming the sting of the bitter end

I needed you

I tried to be sultry enough, but enough ain’t love
You held me like a sweet memory, not like holy blood
Running cold now through every vein
I call your name but it’s just pain

I thought you'd see the seashells still in my hands
But you changed like the tides, and now my heart is sinking sand
You used to know the melody of my soul
Now it’s just unwillingness.
There's a stiffness about you
and I'm listening to all your songs
but this time around,
I hear broken notes

I don’t feel beautiful, I don’t feel seen
a quiet cematary of love that might have been (and we dwell there)
Guitar chords cutting right through my skin
Each one a scar where you had been

I needed you

What’s left behind is heavy and true
The aftermath of my sickness, still holds you
I’m picking up pieces of who I was
But they don’t fit like they did, because…

I don’t feel beautiful, not anymore
Like a cold icy heart that’s melted on the floor
But somewhere in this broken tune
Is proof we loved so hard,
even with our wounds

I needed you
Nicole Castaldini
Written by
Nicole Castaldini  33/F/New York
(33/F/New York)   
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