A heavy silence sits between us, a weight I can’t quite lift. I try to form the words, to tell you everything that’s swirling inside my head, all the true feelings I hold for you. But they just catch in my throat, tangled and lost before they can even reach my lips. It feels like I’m a coward, unable to bridge the gap with the honesty you deserve. I’m so sorry, my love, for this struggle, for my inability to just speak.

There’s a deep yearning within me to open up completely, to lay bare my soul and share every vulnerability. I want to talk it out with you, to unravel these unspoken thoughts and make sense of them together. But a strange, unseen barrier holds me back, a fear of what might happen if I let it all out. It’s a battle within myself, one I’m desperate to win, not just for me, but for us.

This isn't about you, my dearest; it’s about the work I need to do on myself. I see the kind of person I want to be for you, the strong, confident individual who can offer you all the love and support you deserve. I need to fix myself first, to untangle these internal knots and find the courage that seems to elude me now. It’s a promise I make to myself, and to you.

So please, bear with me a little longer. Give me the grace of time as I embark on this journey of self-improvement. I believe in the person I can become, the person who can stand before you, completely open and unafraid, ready to give you the very best of me. I will find my voice, I will overcome this fear, and then, my love, I will be truly ready.