I turned into everything
I said I wouldn't be
My father - A cheater
Someone that runs away
I've run away more times than I can count
I've had an epiphany
Now my heart and mind is in complete dissaray
My mother - Mental illness - BPD
My moods change so rapidly
Medication does nothing for me
Just a placebo effect
But the matter is stronger than my mind
I swore, I declared these things I would never be
Hypocrisy
I hate with every fibre of my being who I have turned out to be
There is no going back for me
I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree
I wish my life turned out a different way  
I guess this is just in my DNA
Or perhaps this is karma
I'm with you
But I don't love you
I kiss you but I feel nothing
We ****
My body rejecting you
I bleed
Every ******* time
I feel nothing
You say you'll **** yourself if I leave
Looked me in my eyes
Staring straight into my soul when you said it
I'm trapped
In a life that I don't want
In a life that I didn't choose
If life is a game
This is one that I know I'm destined to lose
I know that it could be worse
But this feels like a curse
The road is wrong
No matter what path I choose
I should be used to it though, right?
I've felt this way for my entire ******* life
Maybe I'll never feel anything ever again
Maybe the world was better off if I never existed
I'm a bad person
In every context of the word
Ashamed
Is an understatement