writing is awful
its torture
its the most lonely moment
having written is great
exhilarating
the most grateful moment

and I am not the writer
and you are not the reader
we are participants
equal

and I am a narcissist, egocentric
and you are greedy and tempting
me to give so much for a small
chance to be remembered
to be enjoyed forever
and forever is a long time
so I shouldn't complain
about staying up
so late
and anybody can write
yet somehow it's my turn
tonight