How to get violence out of your head
with three easy breathing techniques,
how to lower your heart rate
by practising these gun-safety habits.
You can **** your anxiety,
bury your depression once and for all.
Anger-management: shoot whom you don’t like.
Muscle tension? Try rioting for exercise.
The herds will run straight off the cliff,
into oblivion.

Which is why we offer relaxation techniques
from one of our many violent criminals.
Guest lecture by Wim Hof, who can *******
with his Iceman ******* and genetic fat levels.
We understand you can’t love.
Private sessions with a guru sadist,
massage therapy by certified psychopaths.
We understand you can’t feel.
Psychotherapy and self-defence,
mass shooters, targeted attackers—
we can align your dominant eye.

Passing the limits of feeling at all,
you can go anywhere, without fear.