She was the reason I stayed alive

I had her she seemed to be listening

but she wasn't

We laughed and talked but she wasn't listening

More people are important to her but not me

She doesn't understand

The tears she has made me cry

the way she had made me give up

My dreams faded

I just wanted her to listen

She lied to me

She despises me

and claims i'm lying to my self

I don't know any more
and the knife the feeling of the knife pressing against my skin  

To kick the chair

To swallow down a months worth of my ocd pills

I have no one

why am I here