Nov 2013
though my dreams are haunted
and my every step daunted,
i still am
though your memory brings me pain
making me cry out in vain,
i still am
though you're no longer mine
and my sun has no shine,
i still am
though my nights are cold
without your warmth to hold,
i still am
though my heart feels frozen
because it's not me you've chosen,
i still am
though daylight seems dark
and my eyes lost their spark,
i still am
though i want to give in
et je pense que c'est la fin,
i still am
i am
i am
i am
and i believe that is enough
though every day is tough,
i am, i am, i am
and i always will be
and my every step daunted,
i still am
though your memory brings me pain
making me cry out in vain,
i still am
though you're no longer mine
and my sun has no shine,
i still am
though my nights are cold
without your warmth to hold,
i still am
though my heart feels frozen
because it's not me you've chosen,
i still am
though daylight seems dark
and my eyes lost their spark,
i still am
though i want to give in
et je pense que c'est la fin,
i still am
i am
i am
i am
and i believe that is enough
though every day is tough,
i am, i am, i am
and i always will be
At the end of Sylvia Plath's novel The Bell Jar, the main character is about to be interviewed by a panel of doctors to determine whether she is stable enough to be released from the mental hospital. She has survived depression, suicidal attempts, and finding her place in the world. Previously, she felt empty, dead, trapped by an invisible bell jar. But now, at the end of this journey, she feels her heartbeat, and reassures herself "I am, I am, I am." These powerful words have inspired this poem.
