I am hurt.
Destroyed from within.
I let them become close, too close.
They seem so nice, so welcoming, and I fall head over heels.
I feel at home, with comfort and a security blanket.
Friends become abundant, a big party every time we meet.
I become so attached, the feeling of a high launches me to oblivion.
Perfection is what I’ve found, sailing far above the clouds.
I awake one morning and realize that I yearn for more.
Nothing pulls me down faster than my mind at work.
I can’t be blind, I won’t.
The fulfillment lasted as long as my appetite was satisfied.
I know it wasn’t enough, the love turned to rust at the first sight of rain.
Now, I’m viewed as insane.
I have no friends, they’ve disappeared, turned away.
Treated like a plague, they avoid me.
I feel so alone and I can’t get close to anyone.
Not a “believer” like them so they are not compatible with me.
I guess I’m not adaptable to anybody.
Losing my place among the sheep.
I feel, but it doesn't matter.
Should I go back and pretend so I can have false friends?
I can’t. I won’t. Instead I’ll just be alone.
Not the WAY of the flock, but at least I’m not living a lie.
I think, but it doesn't matter.
Connection, it doesn't matter.
I tried.