Once in while I get an urge
a kind of urge only a cold lifeless friend can fix

when I just can't handle this life anymore
i run my friend across my thighs, so no one can judge my pain

scarlet stripes linger my wide frame like haunting ghost creeping in my doorway
taunting my mind like last nights purging session

Why can't I look like her or why can't he just like me

Theres always something wandering my mind aimlessly
tantalizing me, gnawing at my thoughts
driving me insane with schizophrenic images drawing my attention away from whats important

is it my life?

I only ask this after the measuring tape was around my neck, instead of my stomach
*but what can i say? i'm ******..