I thought this year was horrible
But the more I think about it
I wish I could go back
Not to change my decisions
But to relive it one more time
Knowing things will change
But accepting the beauty of it

I don’t miss her
But sometimes I want a good argument
Sometimes I want the doorbell to ring
Some days I wish I wasn’t in bed alone
And it’s my choice what to do about it
Doesn’t mean I didn’t like it

I miss my friends
And not because I want to hang out
We don’t endlessly call anymore
We don’t make fun of random people
I don’t have my support pals

I miss the musical chaos
Of going to pit every day
Marching band terrors
Learning the jazz band soli
Auditioning for districts
I miss district jazz the most
I loved being with people who knew-
What they were doing-
And what they wanted to do
I miss district band
Resting on her shoulder
Playing classically
The moments were surreal

I want life to be normal
But I don’t want it to change
I wish it could all work out
Like it was