in the media persons are portrayed as needing to be hot
I word I wish I not
I'm not saying that's what I am,
it's a word I've been called before
just hear me out
when I was just sixteen I had lost a lot of weight
size four from size eight
I got a lot of looks and a lot of words
I didn't think they were anything I deserved
because I was a person before that size
all these compliments felt like lies
then I started to hurt
I took in all these words
and I stopped eating meals
bag of mini-pretzels and water once a day
I wanted someone to notice but do you know what they would say?
you look, "hot"
you, "got hot"
I was destroying myself
losing pounds in two weeks
I had started to become weak
but no one noticed that something was wrong with me
I looked too good
I didn't need food
if only someone would
notice that I was starving myself
which is all I wanted
because I was haunted by keeping this image
but inside I was a wreckage
to keep being what they want
to just be hot