That's the purpose of poetry it's reflection.

And Reflection is messy! Spending days and nights looking at the imperfections and why they are there.

It's filled to the brim with grief, rage, shame, honor and hope.

And this reflection, is so painful. Showing up Daily for my inner beat down.

Knowing your creed and values won't yield even when it comes to people that you love!

Waking up not thinking but knowing your values will drive people away.

Being filled with rage at the doors that have been closed for years!

**** it! I wanted to fight! I wanted to show that I was capable, yet I was denied! For me that was such a shameful thing to be denied the one thing you could do and do very well.

Praying that one day I'll be able to relfect what others see.

But until then I'll keep reflecting. Asking the hard questions, am I pushing myself hard enough?

What more can I do?