I am
so tired and full
of doubt--
the crippling kind of doubt
that ***** up everything in your head.

all there is left is mush
all there is left is the regrets
the "I won't do this."
the "I can't do this."

the optimistic me of the past
has long since left the picture.
she ran very far away
and I can't find her.

I am not sure I want to.

I am
so tired of being
forgotten.
I am so
tired of being
lost and
confused and
dazed.

I am jaded now and
there is no pleasure left
and I have no courage--

I hope no one every finds the other me
because if they do she will be so scared
of the her that I have become.