I built a house in my heart,
I wanted to tell you, didn’t know where to start.
I never knew if you were gay, I wasn’t smart,
All I knew is that your eyes pierced through my heart like a dart.
Now I’m in my city, all I can do is hope for a restart.

I’ve watched ducks and swans fall in love,
I’ve seen a pigeon and dove kiss above,
Yet if only we were together,
We’d never been outloved,
But I’m too closeted so I put my heart in a glove.
When you shook it, you broke the thing I’m made of.

Every morning you’d greet me with a hug and smile,
In the evening you’d offer a cigarette, your casual style.
I imagine your clothes on your bed in a big pile,
If I called you at 3AM, I wondered where your phone would dial.
But I couldn’t.
Since I put my heart in exile.

That night, I dreamt of your eyes,
I thought of what I despise,
I dreamt of the lies,
You could tell me at sunrise,
Because for now, my soul cries.

I dreamt of us, our abyss,
Trapped in the moment, lost in our kiss,
Caught between heartache and borrowed bliss,
Just to let go and say,
“I’m going to miss this”

I dreamt of your broken English
Whispering in my ear,
words too hard to distinguish,
your stub rubbing my cheek,
your lips drawing, relinquish.
“If I let go, I don’t want our love extinguished”

The alarm woke me up and hissed,
The balcony opened, flew in a soft mist,
Stretched and wondered why you even exist,
Just to see the doorknob twist,
It was someone else, but it was you I missed.