i don’t want to be invisible
but i don’t want to be seen
as anything less than broken

anything less than sick

when you shrink back
i pull in too
matching silence with silence
hunger with hunger

i measure myself
against the shape of you
against the quiet you carry

and anger rises
knowing you might be
more broken than me
knowing i could lose
this invisible race

i chase the sickness
not for their eyes
not for sympathy

but because if i’m not sick enough

then what am i

something small
something weak
something easy to forget

and that hurts
more than any wound

i am only real
when my pain
holds weight
when it matches
the shadow
you cast beside me