i am constantly searching
for a connection
just anyone,
similar to him
a bunch of replicas
i attract
and attach to.

never the real thing.

i am constantly
just always
searching for my mother
replacing her with men
in hopes
that they will love me
and nurture me
like a woman will

i want my ex
i like his skin
and his hair
and his face
and his body

i listened to his voice
replayed over and over again
i love everything about him
the good, the bad
the ugly..

just a taste of him
from any man
is addicting
i'd do anything
to fill the space
he left inside of me

there's something magical
about a resemblance
he makes me feel
a spark of life
in a sea of darkness
like a bright star
in outer space

he drives me insane
and now
everything i say
is feeling a bit fake. . .